I've had a few people in my life over the
years that seemed to see me as a sugar daddy. Whatever they wanted,
they told me about it and expected me to get it for them.
Sometimes
that's been my kids or my grand kids when they were little, and in
those circumstances, it certainly is normal, and I think maybe even
healthy.
But when people who appear to be adults take that
role it gets awkward. It seems that Father is bringing this to my
attention rather a lot recently. So I'm thinking about it.
One
line of thinking that I have been working on is that if this is
uncomfortable for me, does that also mean that it's uncomfortable for
God, if I only come to him with my wants and needs?
The
reality is that he is not a man, and his reactions are going to be
different than mine. But I still think that's going to be an inferior
way of relating with him, through the Christmas list.
If
nothing else, relating to God through my list of wants and needs is a
sure fire way to discern my immaturity. That's the only appropriate
for children, young children. With God, it's only appropriate for
babes in Christ.
Another line of thinking here has been
about how relating through the wish list changes how I deal with
life, and not for the better.
That's focusing on my wants
and needs, in other words it's focusing on my lack. That's never a
healthy way to relate, either to life, or to God.
This
leads me to a similar topic that father and I have been discussing
recently. It's easy to look at life, it's easy to look at what other
people have, and view it in light of what I want, or what I need.
We have all seen those spam ads on social media. "Click
like, and share this with your friends, and you will get a chance to
win one of these." (First of all, 99% of those are a pure
fiction. Nobody ever wins them. They are what is called "Like
Farms," and they will sell the social interaction to
unscrupulous advertisers later on.")
Or the posts
that asked your opinion: " Do you like the red one or the blue
one or the brown one?" (Yeah, more "Like Farms. ") These are clear temptations to be unsatisfied with God's provision for you.
A
more subtle version of this one is when somebody shares a testimony
of what God has done for them, it's a temptation for me anyway, to
react with a desire for that blessing rather than praise for what
God has done for them. This one masquerades as spiritual maturity,
spiritual hunger. It's not. It's the flesh.
Personally, I
am working to rid my thinking of, "I want that," or "I
want one like that for me." (Remember, this is my process, not
necessarily yours.)
Wanting that, whatever "that"
is, only serves to stir up the lust of the eyes, the lust of the
flesh, or the boastful pride of life. I hear those are not good
things.
So yeah, this involves more awareness of my own
self. It involves being on guard a little bit more than I used to be.
It does not however mean doing away with any desires, goals and
aspirations.
If I really do want that, rather than just
engaging my flesh to meditate on it, I tried to bring it to Father.
It's my goal to discuss it with him, and if it gets his and my
approval, then I will ask him for it. I will also probably discuss
with him what I need to do in that process, so that I don't retreat
him as a sugar daddy.
This represents a change I am
working to implement in my life: becoming less reactive, and more
proactive, more intentional.
I want to be a mature son,
working with him in the administration of his kingdom, not a whiny
toddler fussing about my wants and needs.
I remind you
again, this is what he's doing in me. He may or may not be doing this
in you. On the other hand, if this offends you, if this makes you
angry, he may actually want to make a change like this one in you
too.
Think of this as an invitation to grow in maturity, if he's taking you this way.
