Taking Care of His Lady

Here’s a thing that happens among men, particularly among strong men, good men. Men of honor. Consider with me. 

(Caution: all kinds of PC trigger warnings here: this is necessarily an over-simplification of some complex topics.)

Let's begin with this: Many good men are in committed relationships a woman. And good men will be careful about the woman in their life.

Another bit of this: It can be fairly challenging to get to know strong men. They often have a strong sense of who they are, where they’re going, why they’re going there, and they don’t have time or interest for new relationships. They’re not dodging relationship, they’re just busy changing the world.

It can also be difficult to get close to good men; often they will have a lot of people around them already.

Sure, these good men, strong men have needs from time to time, but they also have something in place to take care of those needs. And if they didn’t, there’s always someone right there, already in their circle, ready to provide it for them.

And it happens that the lady sometimes has needs as well. If he’s there, the gentleman will probably take care of that need.

(In our hyper-sensitive culture, it would be easy to imagine some sexist or controlling relationship going on here. This is not that. Rein in the hyper-sensitivity and see if you can follow the point of the story.)

But sometimes, she has needs that she doesn’t have the immediate answer for, and her man is not right there to meet the need for her.

And that’s where this gets interesting. If I happen to be in the right place at the right time, and have the right resources with me, I can meet her need.

Of course, if my whole focus is to use her to reach him, that’s ugly, that manipulation is generally apparent, and it usually makes a mess.

But if I see her for who she is, and if I step up and help her with her need, that generates a different reaction. Gratitude is a more common response.

The thought showed up in my mind this way: “A good way to impress a man is to take care of his lady.”

And it lives in my mind that way, because that was the way Jesus whispered into the midst of my thoughts a decade or two ago.

And then he whispered, even quieter, “Thank you for taking care of my lady.”

And it’s changed my perspective about serving the Church ever since. I suddenly realized that serving the Church is taking care of my King’s Lady, his beloved Bride.

This changes my worldview. It changes how I see pastors, for example. More specifically, it changes how I see pastoring. 

It changes how I see prophetic ministry, teaching ministry, youth pastoring, children’s ministry. It changes how I see church janitors, church technical teams, administration teams. I’ve done many of those jobs myself.

They’re serving the same Lady that I’ve been serving. It is not too much of a stretch to say that their job (whether volunteer or paid) is to take good care of Jesus’ girlfriend.

If I’ve done them FOR a paycheck, that’s different than if I’ve done them to serve my King’s Beloved, regardless of whether or not I get a paycheck for it.

If I keep his whisper in my mind, “Thank you for taking care of my lady,” then I think I feel a bit more confident ministering to the saints, equipping saints for works of ministry.

“A good way to impress a man is to take very good care of his lady.”

Growing Up in Christ

Kids do stuff. They discover. They play. They have chores to do.

I've been watching some kids grow up over the years. Some of them have been left to their own devices to find things to do. Some are given toys and things to do (sports, enriching experiences, etc.). Some do the stuff of life (much of which is called "chores") along with the rest of the family. (For the sake of this conversation, I’m assuming the kids are given the food & shelter they need.)

Most get a mix of experiences growing up, but generally have more of one kind of thing to do than others. Farm kids do more chores. City kids maybe not as much.

Some kids get tons of toys. Some kids "go play outside" – sometimes in the woods & fields, sometimes in the streets and alleys (and the influences of the others playing outside can be pretty significant).

On the other hand, the kids who play inside with safe age-appropriate toys are generally cleaner and tidier than the kids who play outside in the dirt and stuff. That's probably part of the thinking here. 

I've observed that the kids who also do chores, and who are involved in the things the rest of the family does, these kids seem to mature more quickly than kids who are entertained more, with toys, with video games, with "age-appropriate activities."

It's not an absolute, of course: growing up is a complex thing, and a thousand factors and hundreds of people come play into it. And I’ll bet you a shiny new nickel that I’m not by any means the first person to notice such trends.

But I’ve noticed that kids that are given responsibilities early on, who are invited and expected to be part of all the things that the family does (which include the work of being a family) seem to mature more quickly, both physically and psychologically.

And as I was reflecting on (my over-simplification of) this trend, it was as if Father whispered, “Now consider that over here….” and he drew my attention to the church and how we treat new believers.

Pretty commonly, we put new believers into New Believers’ classes. I think of those as “age-appropriate activities.” It really is good information. Good things to learn. 

And of course, some new believers are left to fend for themselves, kind of the equivalent of “Go play outside” in the spirit. They learn who Father is to them and how to do stuff with Him maybe a little more naturally, maybe a little more urgently.

But things are probably messier, substantially less tidy. 

But applying my observations about kids growing up to spiritual children growing up, I’d expect that the new believers who, having been provided with the nutrition and shelter they need, are involved in the activities and responsibilities of a mature family of faith (including bearing burdens, healing the sick, teaching others), the more quickly they’ll mature.