The Truth About Repentance

The traditional view of repentance, particularly popular in Fundamentalist and Pentecostal circles, is the view that understands that repenting involves focusing on action. The focus is generally on repenting *from* something.

If I’m repenting in this view, you can tell by watching. There probably will be confession of sin. There certainly will be commitment, maybe even vows, to changing certain behaviors. And if I’m doing a really good job of it, there will probably be tears and maybe even snot.

This has become the western, cultural definition of the English word, “repent.”

But the word that the writers of the gospels used for “repent” is the Greek word “metanoeō.” (They didn’t actually write the Bible in English.)

The word “metanoeō,” though, doesn’t actually speak of sins or choices or tears.

It’s a combination of two words: “meta” means “in the midst of” and “noeō” which is “to perceive with the mind, to understand, to have understanding.” These words indicate that repenting is something that happens in the midst of understanding.

Our word, “metanoeō” itself, literally means “to change one's mind” or “have a new thought.” Apple caught this idea really with their ad campaign “Think Differently.” 

And so the more Biblical understanding of the word “repent” is about “changing how I think,” and if I’m repenting in this view, you may or may not be able to see it happen. On the other hand, if you’re attentive, you can tell when it has happened, because I’ll be doing things differently.

For example: if I stop seeing God as a grumpy old man with judgment and smiting on his mind, and instead I see a loving Father who will pay any price, ANY price, in order to tell me he loves me, that absolutely will have an effect on my actions.

I’ll fall in love. And when I’m in love, I won’t want to do the stupid things that will endanger that love relationship. So I might no longer drink or smoke or chew or go out with girls who do, not because I’m adhering to a standard, not out of fear of judgment, but because that’s what love does.

I suggest that we look at the words and the actions of God – both New Testament and Old – as a loving God, who will do anything for his children, and give up on the grumpy judge, and see how that changes how you respond to God.

I’ll bet you it’s easier to love a passionate father than a grumpy judge! And it’s easier to obey him. 

My Prayers Have Changed

My prayers have changed. I feel the need to reflect on those changes.
I guess that's pretty normal, for us to pray differently over time. I suppose that's maybe an indication of maturity: as we grow up in the kingdom, our prayers shift to reflect kingdom values more.


So I think to myself, "How are my prayers changing?"

• The first way I observe my prayers changing, and this one has been going on for a while now, is that I find myself asking the question, "How shall I pray?" or "What's on Father's heart for this [person or situation]?" and I try to say what I hear my Father saying in my prayers.

And I figure that's good practice for hearing his heart in general. Practice is good.

• The second change that's caught my attention is when I think I know how to pray for someone or some situation. Over time, I came to the point where I had to conclude that sometimes my prayers were more "against" them than "for them."

I used to pray against the bad things that bad people were doing, or the bad decisions people were making, or the bad influences in their lives. And yeah, those were things that need to be stopped.

But I observe some things:

a) I'm not the one to stop them (that's actually way above my pay grade!), and

b) by focusing on the bad things, I found myself influenced some by the bad things and

c) I began to wonder, if my words have power (and I believe they do), then was my speaking (even speaking to God) about bad things working to strengthen the bad things.

• So I focus my attention pretty intently on finding things and people and influences and choices to pray for, rather than things to pray against.

- Instead of praying against abortion, I pray for women to value their babies, for men to value women and babies, for courts and legislatures to choose life.

- Instead of praying against the evil that a bad person is doing, I might pray that he or she would remember the faith they had as a child, or that they would find value (possibly even financial value) in a better choice.

- When people do things that hurt me (emotionally, financially, relationally, whatever), instead of praying against those choices, those actions, I may pray for their heart to be healed, or for their own needs to be met, or for them to see the effects of what they're choosing.

• As I pray for people, I find myself more aware of Father's heart for them in a number of ways, but one of the more consistent ways is being aware of the tremendous gift of free will that he has given to them. I regularly feel the need to respect — even guard — their free will, that same free will that they're using for stealing, killing & destruction.

Said another way, I don't feel the freedom (perhaps better, "I no longer feel the freedom") to overrule their will with my own.

After all, if God honors their free will, their choices (even the evil ones), maybe I ought to as well.

• As a result of these changes, there's another change going on. I find that a larger portion of my prayers are working on aligning my heart in prayer with my Father's heart.

I don't know if this one will be permanent or temporary, but I observe that habits are challenging to break, and I seem to have developed some lousy habits in prayer: self-willed, short-sighted, self-centered.

Hmm. This reveals that I have been thinking about Ephesians 5:26 in a way that is different than how my pastors always taught it. I observe that I make room for Father to "[cleanse me] by the washing with water through the word, to present [me] to himself... Without stain or wrinkle, or any other blemish."

I didn't actually realize I was thinking in these terms. But I can go with that.

So those are some of the ways that I've become aware that my prayers have been changing. And I think find myself with my prayers being answered a little more often, or a little more visibly. And there’s clearly more life found in the process, at least as I’m experiencing it.

When I see changes going on with me, I try to look at the changes, and determine if I approve of them, to make a conscious decision about whether I will permit that change in my life or not. (I'm aware that I make a lot of changes by default; I'm trying to counter that.)

These are decisions that I think I might want to keep, that I might want to nourish and encourage to grow.

Taking Care of His Lady

Here’s a thing that happens among men, particularly among strong men, good men. Men of honor. Consider with me. 

(Caution: all kinds of PC trigger warnings here: this is necessarily an over-simplification of some complex topics.)

Let's begin with this: Many good men are in committed relationships a woman. And good men will be careful about the woman in their life.

Another bit of this: It can be fairly challenging to get to know strong men. They often have a strong sense of who they are, where they’re going, why they’re going there, and they don’t have time or interest for new relationships. They’re not dodging relationship, they’re just busy changing the world.

It can also be difficult to get close to good men; often they will have a lot of people around them already.

Sure, these good men, strong men have needs from time to time, but they also have something in place to take care of those needs. And if they didn’t, there’s always someone right there, already in their circle, ready to provide it for them.

And it happens that the lady sometimes has needs as well. If he’s there, the gentleman will probably take care of that need.

(In our hyper-sensitive culture, it would be easy to imagine some sexist or controlling relationship going on here. This is not that. Rein in the hyper-sensitivity and see if you can follow the point of the story.)

But sometimes, she has needs that she doesn’t have the immediate answer for, and her man is not right there to meet the need for her.

And that’s where this gets interesting. If I happen to be in the right place at the right time, and have the right resources with me, I can meet her need.

Of course, if my whole focus is to use her to reach him, that’s ugly, that manipulation is generally apparent, and it usually makes a mess.

But if I see her for who she is, and if I step up and help her with her need, that generates a different reaction. Gratitude is a more common response.

The thought showed up in my mind this way: “A good way to impress a man is to take care of his lady.”

And it lives in my mind that way, because that was the way Jesus whispered into the midst of my thoughts a decade or two ago.

And then he whispered, even quieter, “Thank you for taking care of my lady.”

And it’s changed my perspective about serving the Church ever since. I suddenly realized that serving the Church is taking care of my King’s Lady, his beloved Bride.

This changes my worldview. It changes how I see pastors, for example. More specifically, it changes how I see pastoring. 

It changes how I see prophetic ministry, teaching ministry, youth pastoring, children’s ministry. It changes how I see church janitors, church technical teams, administration teams. I’ve done many of those jobs myself.

They’re serving the same Lady that I’ve been serving. It is not too much of a stretch to say that their job (whether volunteer or paid) is to take good care of Jesus’ girlfriend.

If I’ve done them FOR a paycheck, that’s different than if I’ve done them to serve my King’s Beloved, regardless of whether or not I get a paycheck for it.

If I keep his whisper in my mind, “Thank you for taking care of my lady,” then I think I feel a bit more confident ministering to the saints, equipping saints for works of ministry.

“A good way to impress a man is to take very good care of his lady.”