I had just started my walk with father the other day, and I realized I was feeling kind of strange in my soul. I examined my heart for a bit and realized there was a sense of unworthiness there, a vague sense of uncleanness.
What better time to discover these issues, I thought, than walking with God? so I began, as has frequently been my practice, to search my soul with him, to unburden my soul, to find whatever was amiss and 'fess up and fix it.
I had been going at the search for a little while when I paused and recognized that Father wasn't joining in it with me. It was like he was just standing back, leaning against a tree, arms crossed over his chest, waiting for me to notice him.
I stopped my search for my dirty laundry and gave him my attention.
"Son, do you remember the counsel you give people about not treating your emotions as always truthful?"
"Yes...." I replied. "The feelings are real, but they may not be telling the truth."
"Yeah. You're not immune from that, you know."
And I realized that he was telling me that my feelings were lying to me, that I didn't have sin in my heart. What I had was an accuser telling me, lying to me, about sin in my heart. Oops.
We talked about it some more, about how hard I've had to work to get past that lie that says that God can't relate to people who sin. He reminded me that any time his kids sinned, he was always, always out there going after them.
"Sin doesn't scare me, Son. But I think it scares you. And sometimes, just the Accuser whispering about sin scares my children off.
"Come here, Son. Let me hug you."
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