There’s an uncomfortable contrast between forgiveness and
healing.
We forgive those who wound us, and with the grace that Jesus
is so generous about pouring into our lives, we can (eventually) forgive even
the most debilitating, the most wounding, the most egregious offenses against
us.
More, we need to forgive those offenses. In some way (see Matthew
6:14), our own forgiveness is tied to how we forgive others. And we’re
commanded to forgive (see Matthew 18:23-35), so it’s pretty important.
But forgiving is not the same as healing. The act of
forgiving the one who hurt me does not – in and of itself – heal the wound that
they caused. Forgiving them is about not holding the offense in my soul against
them, about no longer looking for revenge (whether actively or passively)
against them, about not allowing a “root of bitterness” to grow in my spirit to
make accusations against my offender and against God. That’s powerful stuff,
but it’s not the same as healing the wound that came from their offense.
On the cross, Jesus forgave the people who nailed him there,
but he still died from the wounds. In Acts 7, Stephen forgave those who wounded
him by throwing stones, but he, too, died from that stoning.
I’ve seen confusion among believers about this in two
manifestations:
1) “I’ve forgiven them for wounding me. So why am I still
wounded? I thought that forgiving them would make it stop hurting!”
2) “But you forgave me! Why aren’t you trusting me? Why are
you still acting like you’re hurting there? I guess you didn’t REALLY forgive
me, did you!”
The reality is that forgiving and healing are two completely
different issues. One might as well ask, “Why am I broke at the end of the
month? It’s still raining in the Northwest, isn’t it?” Well, yes, it is still
raining in the northwest, but that doesn’t actually have anything to do with
your personal spending habits! In similar manner, there is not a direct
correlation between forgiving and being healed.

We must forgive, of course, and there are enough reasons to
forgive to fill a book. We could fill another book on the differences between forgiving someone and trusting them in the same way again. Frankly, they would be fine books, but that’s not the purpose for
this article, which is to shoot down the false belief that “My forgiving you
brings me healing.” It’s a small step in the process, and an important one, but
it is not the healing.
I can forgive you for shooting me in the knee, but I will
still walk with a limp until my knee is healed.
No comments:
Post a Comment