I received an unspeakably great honor recently.
I was at a bible study with folks less than half my age, unchurched folks. After the study, we began to pray, and the shaggy, pierced kid to my left began to pour out his heart to God. He was declaring his love, and at the same time, asking God’s blessing, He was doing it in his native language. And his native language was thick with four-letter words.
Immediately, something rose up inside me: I was offended! But just as immediately,
Father drew my attention to the heart that was pouring out that stream of
“profanity.” Quickly, I saw it from His perspective: how tender, how sincere, how transparent, how
beautiful. I felt Father’s joy, delighting in that prayer which offended me so badly.
And I began, just barely began, to understand, and as I did, tears formed in my eyes.
This was “love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith.” (1 Timothy 1:5) This was exactly what he was looking for: someone worshiping him “in Spirit and in truth.” God was delighted with this prayer from his beloved son!
And I’ve had to admit: “cuss words” are just noises. It’s the heart behind them, it’s the intent, that gives them meaning. God is not offended by noises. Maybe I shouldn’t ought to be either.
I was at a bible study with folks less than half my age, unchurched folks. After the study, we began to pray, and the shaggy, pierced kid to my left began to pour out his heart to God. He was declaring his love, and at the same time, asking God’s blessing, He was doing it in his native language. And his native language was thick with four-letter words.

This was “love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith.” (1 Timothy 1:5) This was exactly what he was looking for: someone worshiping him “in Spirit and in truth.” God was delighted with this prayer from his beloved son!
And I’ve had to admit: “cuss words” are just noises. It’s the heart behind them, it’s the intent, that gives them meaning. God is not offended by noises. Maybe I shouldn’t ought to be either.
Now, having said that, having rejoiced at being present at such an
intimate outpouring of love in four-letter vocabulary, I should probably add:
this isn’t my language; it doesn’t justify my using that fellow’s language to communicate,
either with God or with man.
Whenever I bring this topic up, there’s always someone who angrily
responds, “But the Bible says to not use filthy language!” And it does, but in
the same sentence it says to put off anger.
Hmm. And anger is also encouraged, even commanded (Ephesians 4:26).
Hmmm again. Maybe this isn’t as “black & white” as I thought.
The word for “filthy language” here is “αἰσχρολογία,” which is
literally “αἰσχρός [aischros]
words.” And aischros words are
words that are dishonoring, shameful: he’s speaking about the heart (no
surprise there), not about the sounds coming out of the larynx.
Aischros is also the
“filthy” part of “filthy lucre” which is more commonly translated “dishonest
gain.” Again, the command is not about certain sounds, certain noises, that are off limits, but
the heart behind the sounds. We foolishly think that as long as we don’t make
those particular sounds, we can tell people off (perhaps in Facebook comments?), we
can cut people off in traffic, point out others’ mistakes, tell shady jokes and
leave lousy tips. All of these are violations of the same intent: dishonoring,
shameful, dishonest gain.
Renowned Greek scholar, Richard C Trench, concludes
that aischros “includes therein every
license of the ungoverned tongue employing itself in the abuse of others, all
the wicked condiments of saucy speech,” and adding, “the context and company in
which the word is used by him going far to prove as much; seeing that all other
sins against which he is here warning are outbreaks of a loveless spirit toward
our neighbour.”
Other principles apply, though I hate to reference principles,
knowing how quickly they’re wielded as laws. Paul outlines some of them in his
first letter to believers in Corinth :
§ “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable.
All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.” (1 Corinthians 6:12)
§ “All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All
things are lawful, but not all things edify.” (1 Corinthians 10:23)
It seems that there are three appropriate questions to ask here:
1. Is this practice profitable?
2. Is this practice mastering me?
3. Does this practice edify or build people up?
In the case of four-letter vocabulary, asking these questions –
particularly as they relate to the next generation – gave me some surprising
answers. I’ll get different answers, of course, when I ask them related to
churchgoers, but I expected that.
But then he suggested to me: “Now ask these questions about the
practice of correcting other people’s four-letter vocabulary.” Oh my. That one failed
all three.
I find myself drawn to these
conclusions: Four letter vocabulary is not my language, but I’m not going to
condemn myself over my language choices when I hit my thumb with a hammer. And my
offense at others’ use of a language that is not my own appears to be far more
offensive to God than either their language or mine.