I had been listening to some pretty awesome testimonies of God's
goodness recently. One day, I was driving across town, reflecting on
the testimonies, admiring how good God really is.
“You know, Son, If
you keep welcoming the testimonies, you might be in danger of seeing
those things show up in your own life.” I could hear the smile in
his voice.
I thought for a
while about what he was saying: receiving the testimony empowers the
testimony in my own life. Yeah, that's Biblical.
Then the other end
of the scale crossed my mind.
“I wonder if that
means that if I were to reject the testimony, that I would stop that
work of God in my life, I would actually be working against God's
move in my life?”
I felt Father sadly
nodding agreement. There was a tear.
I pondered some
more.
I could hear
someone's argument in my mind: “Does that mean that I need to
believe every unverifiable, every unbelievable fairy tale that
anybody dreams up?”
He was silent.
I thought about that
for a while.
After several miles,
I realized that this isn't a binary situation. This isn't “Either I
fully believe the testimony & receive it, or else I completely
and utterly reject it.” There are times, no doubt, for each of
those extremes, but there are other options, other choices, where I believe a portion of the testimony and respond to other parts skeptically.
I thought some more.
It came back to my
attention that Father has been reminding me of my own testimony
recently: how he's taught me how I don't actually need to form an
opinion all the time. He reminded me of how much freedom that has
brought me in recent years, to occasionally say, “I don’t know.”
“I don’t have an opinion on that one.”
And that’s the
answer in this situation. Or at least an answer.
If I don't have the
faith (or the will) to believe the testimony before us, have another
option, other than closing off the grace of God in my life in that
area: I’m not actually required to form an opinion, a judgment, of
every single thing that we hear.
It's easy enough to
let unbelief disguise itself as the wisdom of not forming an opinion,
but we’re mature enough to avoid that, aren’t we?
Use discernment.
Duh. That’s why he gave us that gift; use the gift, then trust the
gift that God has given. Engage your trust, or don’t, as you
choose.
But if it's a good
testimony, believe it, engage your faith with it, and look for the
grace of that testimony to manifest in your life.
But maybe if
it isn’t a testimony you find you can engage your faith with, I
don’t need to utterly reject and shut down that move of God in my
life.
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