It was a Wednesday night, of course, because in the ’80s,
that’s when you had your home group meetings.
This group was already considered a little aberrant, because
we discussed more than merely the Sunday sermon. And we had discovered prophetic
gifts. In fact, we’d often put someone on a chair in the middle of the circle
and ask God for how to pray for them. We were sometimes quite surprised by how much
our prayers touched needs we hadn’t known about.
So it wasn’t completely unusual when the home group leader
brought some guests to one of our gatherings. Without any more than just their
names, he parked them in side-by-side chairs in the middle of the circle, and
asked us to pray for them. We gathered around and laid hands on them.
For a while, the prayers were rather generic Christian
blessings. We discerned a significant leader’s calling on the couple, but then
we paused and pressed in deeper. We waited in silence for more revelation.
A quiet sob broke the stillness, and then another. These
were from an intercessor we all knew and trusted, who heard God as well as any
of us. We waited while she wept, and then she shifted her position, grabbed the
man’s feet, and wept over them. It reminded me of the woman who washed Jesus’
feet with her tears. By this time, the man and his wife were weeping as well,
and several of us praying for them were near to tears, but we couldn’t have
told you why.
Eventually, the intercessor was able to form words, and what
she said through her tears has shaped much of my thinking on the topic. She explained
she saw an apostle’s mantle on the couple, on the man in particular. That wasn’t
what she was crying about: the Lord had revealed to her much of what that
calling would mean in his life, the price that he’d have to pay to walk out
that calling. She was weeping for the struggles and the abandonment he’d face,
for the betrayals and the accusations, for the opposition he’d face, and for the
burden of love he’d carry.
She saw the victories, too, and declared them, but that was
the day that I knew something of what it means to “count the cost.”
That was the moment that I concluded that the big man on the
big stage with his big congregation and his big budget is not the model for an
apostle. An apostle is not just a really successful or really well-respected
pastor or denominational leader. The image of a true apostle is not the corner
office, not the fancy website, or even the anointed business cards.
Paul’s description of his ministry was not the exception; it
was a healthy example of what many apostles will face. This is the model that
the New Testament gives us for apostolic ministry:

Five times I received
from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods,
once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night
and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move.
I have been in danger
from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger
from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at
sea; and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have
often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone
without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily
the pressure of my concern for all the churches.
Who is weak, and I do
not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn? If I must
boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." - 2
Corinthians 11:23-30
I've learned that a man, a woman, is not a an apostle that I
can trust who does not know tears.
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1 comment:
well, the tears are flowing, as I finish this wonderful stroll down memory lane, back into the 80's (and even 70's). Many 'sendings forth' came out of that era, both missionaries abroad, and at home. Were I to describe this era, and the changes to come, it would be with the addition of the younger generation(s) into any gathering of the saints, having been equipped (perhaps in the smaller home meetings) to operate in the gifts of the Spirit, and how to hear the voice of God. The three generations must work together and accept each other in this last great revival. We need each other, and all have something to impart to each other. Wonderful Blog. God bless you!
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